Don’t Be Crushed by Criticism
One of the Most Influential One-Day Seminars I’ve Ever Taken
When I was in college studying landscape architecture I took an architectural drawing seminar from a guy named Mike Lin. It was one of the most influential one-day courses I have ever taken, and it gave me some time-tested insight into what successful leaders do differently. A takeaway I remember from that seminar was learning how to overcome my fear of making mistakes. Mike’s attitude was that we were free to mess up all we wanted. He set a tone that encouraged learning by taking risks. He taught bizarre concepts like, “making mistakes is a good thing because you often learn more from errors than from successes.”
It’s been 23 years since I took that seminar, but the lessons have stuck with me as I’ve journeyed to understand what successful leaders do differently. Let me share a few quick examples of how a seminar on architectural drawing affected my view of leadership. Within 10 minutes of meeting Mike and doing some simple warm up exercises he identified a handful of things that were hindering my drawing ability. Here is a short list:
- Not liking when people criticize me
- Lack of skill
- Lack of tutelage from a skilled teacher
- Preoccupation with success
- Comparing myself to others
- Lack of confidence
- Fear of making mistakes
- And there were many more!
The main goal of his seminar was to sever those snares and cast a new vision so we could really learn how to draw. Within just a few weeks of “doing things differently”, my ability to draw exponentially improved. This teaches me something important about leadership: The main reasons why people can’t draw well (listed above) are similar to the reasons why some people can’t lead very well either. In the same way Mike helped me see the roadblocks to becoming successful at architectural drawing, over the next couple of weeks I’m writing a series of brief blogs on, “Seven things successful leaders do differently.” We’ll start with number seven which is about how we handle criticism. Each of these qualities will relate to any kind of leadership, including outdoor leadership, which is the primary theme of my blog.
# 7 Don’t be Crushed by Criticism | A Story…
I wish I could say I’ve mastered this one, but I’m far from it. If I’m honest, when someone corrects me or offers criticism my first reaction is often defensive. Maybe you don’t struggle with that, but I still do from time to time. I remember teaching several sessions at an outdoor ministry training event in Canada a couple of years ago, and right before my last talk, a person I really respect pulled me aside to offer some critique. From his perspective, the way I was delivering the content was not effectively inviting participation in the group. After the initial gulp of hearing him out, I swallowed my pride and thought about it. I asked him some clarifying questions to make sure I understood what he was talking about, and then by God’s grace I allowed his critique to sink in. I prayerfully considered how I could change things up for the last session, and God gave me some ideas. It reminded me afresh that God grants wisdom those who ask. And I can say that because I listened to him and took his critique to heart with humility and gratefulness, the last session went a thousand times better.
Critique is good because it can fuel progress
Anyone who has been a leader for a while knows that if healthy growth is to occur, accountability and measurement of our progress is needed. The Apostle Peter, the great leader of the first Christian church said it this way:
For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. (2 Peter 1:5-8 BOLD mine)
Growing as a leader requires examining and evaluating yourself as well as being open to others who respectfully offer critique or exhortation. As scary as it may seem to open yourself up to correction or improvement, the Bible sheds a good light on the practice of exhortation. But if you aren’t used to it, then when it comes, it can feel like a dagger. To overcome this, get in the habit of seeking constructive criticism often so your sword remains sharp. Here are a few game-changing Bible passages that shed a positive light on how to handle criticism:
As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (Proverbs 27:17)
… exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. (Hebrews 3:12-13)
Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness; let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it. (Psalm 141:5)
Implications
Highly effective leaders do things differently. One of those things is they handle criticism with grace and teachability. So how does #7 on this list hit you? Here are a few reflection questions that might help you sharpen this area of your leadership:
1. What was the last time you remember someone offering you constructive criticism on your leadership ability or style?
2. If people don’t offer you constructive criticism, is that because you put off a vibe to your peers that you are not open to their evaluation?
3. If you are an outdoor leader, what is one way you will build constructive criticism into your debriefing processes during and after trips? For example: Have your guide partner offer a 1) strength, 2) growth area 3) and a probing question they have about what you taught or the way you taught it…
4. Do you have a trusted friend who you could talk to about your desire to improve how you handle criticism? Could you ask them to help increase your potential by prayerfully offering advice on how you can improve your leadership skills?
Stay tuned for the other 6 things that successful leaders do differently… they are game changers worth considering.
